philosophy – My Stoic Life

Thinking About Reason

The reason of which I’m thinking is the ‘this is the reason why I can’t come to lunch’ meaning of the word. I’m thinking about the ‘Thinking about’, kind of reason. The kind of reason that separates human from beast. There is some debate about whether any ‘beasts’ actually do use reason, but that is something for a different blog post.

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Using reason, considering things more deeply, and moving beyond the obvious into much more, these are the things that help us to do better things, or to do things in a better way. Reason, consciously used, allows us to consider effects, and work to understand the things that occur in our lives. Reason, rather than emotion, is the logical way to get to the actual truth of matters.

20190722_214309 — Not sleeping, thinking!

Reason allows us to consider ideas, and apply our own knowledge, and knowledge from other sources, to ascertain the actual truth of things. If we use reason, we will discard false ideas, and endeavour to correct ideas found to be untrue. Reason helps us to think about things, and arrive at responses based on truth, not falsity.

Intuition is often given by some people as the sole reason for a decision, but actions based only on intuition, may well give a totally wrong idea, when further thought and ‘reasoning’ would have taken that intuition, and shaped it into a more nuanced and true idea. Emotion can also lead a person to false ideas. Wanting something to be true, will never actually make a thing true. But the wanting, connected to reason, can work toward a process that may well bring the wanted thing, into fruition.

Stoic thought goes very strongly toward reason, in fact reason, used properly, will lead to Wisdom, and the gaining of Wisdom, as applied to all in life, is the ultimate goal for all, to lead to the living of the truly Good Life. This is a basic aim of Stoicism. This is not a life where we have all of our wants fulfilled, but rather a life where all of our actions performed lead to the greater, rather than only personal, good.

The satisfaction of hunger, or any base or strictly animal needs, at the expense of higher needs, such as the need for deeper thought, are not going to lead to that greater Good, the Good Life that is or should be the ultimate aim for us all. Hunger is a need that should be fulfilled, yes, but how often to people go overboard with it, and have more than they need?

The consequences of this overindulgence are many, and if all chose to only have enough, instead of too much, what a wonderful thing that would be, for all. Moderation is a key to a better life, meeting needs, but not ‘wants’ …
What do you think about this? Does it seem relevant to living a Stoic life? I’d love to hear/read what you think about this. Please leave a comment!

Happy Stoic New Year

Some End Of Year Stoic Thoughts To Take Into 2020

If a thing is beyond my control, I am not to blame for it, but if it was under my control, I must think deeply on why I allowed it to be.

Planning for the good to occur is a joy, planning for the bad, is a blessing … The sensible person spends at least as much energy planning for the bad, as for the good.

Everything that happens is a chance to learn. Nothing is good or bad, unless it brings no further reflection.

If I cannot be said to be at fault, I will not accept blame. If I was at fault, I will look closely at why it happened, and will take action, as appropriate, to ensure it doesn’t happen again, if such action is possible for me.

When considering my best action, I will look at the broader picture first, not only the best for myself only.

Being a member of a group is an opportunity to reach heights, but if others in the group are unable to reach them with you, you have in truth failed.

Any problems being faced now, will become irrelevant in the future, no matter how big the problem. We all will die …

If you were there when it happened, and did nothing to stop it, can you really say it wasn’t your fault at all? If you had no control over it at all, yes, otherwise no. Always do what you can if, and when, you can.

You are not one person only, you are a member of the group, the community, the world. Do all you can do, to help the best good come to all.

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If you lack the courage to do a thing this time, will you ever have the courage when you have not option but to do it?

A tree that always follows the usual direction of the wind, is a tree that will fall when the wind direction changes. Nature knows this, and acts accordingly. Let Nature be your guide …

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Facing fears and acting teaches you to be strong, hiding away from fears allows them to hurt you, over and over again.

If it is wrong for you to do a thing, but others are doing it, it is still wrong for you to do it …

Christmas & New Year Thoughts

This has been a fine year for me, in terms of sharing my words in various ways, some quite different kinds of thoughts. This blog, for instance, which covers my thoughts regarding Stoicism, and how it applies to my life.

I have had no formal training in Stoicism (although I would certainly like to have such training). I have read one book about Stoicism, a book by Massimo Pigliucci, titled “How to be a Stoic”. I found much in this book that interested me, and have been working, ever since, to be a better Stoic.

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It’s a work in progress, my Stoic life, but I find when I stay closest to Stoic ideas, I make better decision about important things. I no longer stress about anything really, because I realise there is so much in life that I can do nothing about, because they are for others to deal with.

And when I see something that is my responsibility, I try my hardest to deal with it, in the way that is best for me, for my loved ones, my community, and/or the whole, as appropriate. I can’t save everyone, from everything, but I can save some, from some things …

So this year is almost over, and tomorrow we will have the big day for the giving and receiving of gifts, with more to come the day after. Being with family is an important part of this process, being kind and thoughtful, and enjoying each other’s company.

Thoughts, and then acting on them in ways that bring good, these are the important to me, and even though I know I have flaws, I know I’m working on those flaws, and am becoming a better person, in some ways. I am a work in progress though, as we all are, and if I get things wrong at times, and find out about it, I try to mend things.

This isn’t always possible, but I take note of it, and try harder to be a good and virtuous person, using the wisdom I have, and trying to become ever wiser … I give to my community, I am honest, I try to be kind and friendly to all I meet, if and when I can. Life brings challenges, I try to meet them wisely, with my eye on the best result, in terms of good being done …

This has become my personal philosophy, and I know there are many other Stoics also working to be virtuous, working to make wise decisions, for the best of all, when and if they can … Will we one day help the whole world thing in the same way we do? Who knows, we can but try.

If you have any thoughts about any of my words here, please leave a comment, I would love to here how you feel about what I have written.

Still Practicing Stoicism

Becoming a Stoic isn’t like taking up a new religion, and going to the appropriate church, synagogue, or whatever, once a week, or however often is appropriate. You meet up with others of the same religion, listen to the appropriate person – priest, reverend etc, and perhaps go for a cup of tea with some of those attending afterwards.

Then you go home, and perhaps think on the learnings your heard at the service, and maybe do some good works, in accordance with those learnings. Then you probably go back to living your life in a manner much like everyone else, whatever their particular religious, or secular leanings.

Becoming a Stoic is something different though. A Stoic is, or tries to be constantly learning, thinking, and doing their Stoic thing, being a good and virtuous person, the best they can possibly be, for that is what being a Stoic is all about. “Gaining fulfillment in life through living a good and virtuous life in accordance with Nature.”

Living a ‘good’ life doesn’t refer to getting all of the best things in life, the good things that having lots of money, for instance may bring. No, good refers to acting with wisdom, choosing the best thing for self, community, and everything else.

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Stoicism tells us that the only thing we can actually control is ourselves, and to get angry at the actions of others is a waste of time, and causes us unnecessary grief. This is because we are only able to control our own actions and reactions, anything else is beyond our abilities to control.

The actions of others, then, can be seen as good or bad, but we cannot do anything about them, but, if they are bad things, be sorry for the person doing them, for they are harming themselves, as well as perhaps harming others, and nothing really good can come of their bad actions.

Thinking about such matters is not an immediately easy thing to do, seeing other people who look to be living a great life, when we are living a quieter life, living in a moderate way, neither going without what we need, to live, nor to have more than we actually need, to live. Moderate lives, lived in accordance with what is natural to us, being brave, cheerful, courageous, high-minded, accepting, these lead to the Stoic way.

If we feel resentful at what someone else has, are we doing ourselves any good, in that resentment? No, we are not. If we wish for things we can’t afford, or don’t need, are we going ourselves any good? No, the things Nature tells us we need, food, shelter, companionship perhaps, wanting and having these things is a good thing, not bad, as long as no-one is harmed in the process of us getting them.

Some things are difficult, and require hard work to achieve, so we will need to knuckle down and get on with the necessary hard work. This is a good thing. This is courageous, brave, accepting of the reality. But to want for more than we need, is none of these things.

A further issue needs to be considered, the idea of things ‘being in accordance with nature’, refers to acting in accordance of our humanity, the thing that makes us higher than animals. Humans have the ability to reason, and to be rational. And we are born to be social, and to watch out for each other and to work together for the good for all.

Humans can think, and to think about thinking, which is what makes us different from animals, which simply do things, with no further thought on what they have done. Rationality and reason must be the guides we hold to in life, and in holding to them, we can live a life more in accordance with nature, and so a life that strives for the the best life for all, not just ourselves.

Selflessness, rationality, reason, these can lead to that best world for all. I think on these and am aware of the failings of others, but also of my own failings, and I am humbled. I perhaps know things others don’t realise, I understand more, and if they fail, due to ignorance, who am I who fail, even in knowledge of my failings?

Life goes on, I think on where I have failed, and strive do better, be better, achieve higher, and fulfilled life, acting in accordance to what is rational and reasonable. But more than that, I will live a life that adds to the world, and does good for all, not just myself. In doing so, I will be living a wise and fulfilled life, as we all could do …

“You Don’t Make Friends With Salad”

Those words came from the famous Homer Simpson, of the well known animated comedy The Simpsons. If you are a fan of the Simpsons, you probably remember the words and the episode they occurred in, and even if you’re not a fan, you may well have heard the phrase.

This is Lahde, a dear friend, now gone, and he sure liked salad!

I can’t remember Homer’s point, with this curious proclamation, and it’s not one I necessarily agree with. I can certainly imagine a friendship that could begin with salad. Friendships are curious things, that can happen when you meet someone, and just ‘click’, feeling that finally here is a person who ‘gets’ you.

Another famous person, the philosopher Seneca, over two thousand years ago, said this about friendship:
“Associate with those who will make a better man of you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve.”

I’d never heard or read this thought, until earlier today. I have been thinking about Facebook and friendship off and on for quite a long time, really. I have real ‘see often’ friends who are also Facebook friends, and I have ‘see often’ real friends who aren’t on Facebook. I have a ridiculously large number of Facebook Friends, some of whom I don’t even remember ‘Friending’ in the first place.

I delete these occasionally, when I am having clear out in the interest of hmm, I don’t know what. Greater clarity? I’m not sure. On Facebook, the majority of my not actually true friends, FB Friends, are usually writers, or friends of friends. With some of those friends, I keep them as Friends, for the former reason, as stated by Seneca. I associate with them. These are people who have interesting things to say, or who may help to make me a better person, in some way.

The concept of being able to ‘improve’ a person is a curious one, because I’m not sure knowing me will ‘improve’ all others, but I certainly welcome into my friendship group, people who are interested in the things I’m interested in, writing, mostly. I have many writing related friends, and I welcome these are real friends, on the basis that we can actually ‘improve’ each other through our ideas, and connections.

Seneca’s words seem very sterile to me, and word has it that the man was quite the party goer, so I wonder how much improving was going on? I have no way of really knowing that, without a lot more research. Anyway, I certainly know that true friendships are far from sterile things. I have many friends I care deeply about, and love to catch up with them for coffee, chats, and hugs!

Social media opens up the entire world of possible friends, and FB Friends, as well as those on Twitter we follow and who follow us. We may never meet many of these people, but we may both, be made better by knowing them, and we may improve them. This friendship thing is truly a mixed up thing, and as I’ve seen in the past, it can go very wrong, very quickly.

But true friendships, such as the one I have with my husband, who I consider as my second best friend, these kinds of deeply committed friendships can withstand much, and still stay strong. I have been married to my husband for 33 years, and we’ve seen each other at our best, and at our worst. We both realise the importance of give and take …

Why second best friend. you may wonder, why not best friend, if our relationship is so strong? Well this is another thing – I consider myself to be my best friend. I care deeply about myself, and my best interests are an important focus of my life. I definitely believe that loving and caring about yourself helps you to become the kind of person who attracts good and caring people to your friendship group.

And yes, dogs have been great friends to me too, over the years. The dog in the photo above, Lahde, is the big brother of our current dog, Missy. Sharing our lives with dogs can show us how open and honest friendships can be. Dogs will come to you for food, yes, but they are also happy to just hang out with you, sharing your days, with no pressure, just casual ‘hanging around’ the way your best human friends can too.

So that’s it – some of my thoughts about friends. They can be tricky, they can be global, they can be in your face, and they can go wrong, but a true friend is one of the best, if not the best, thing to have in the world! Treasure your friends, they are priceless!

What Would Marcus Aurelius Do?

I have my own responsibilities to my community, and I work hard at meeting my tasks with them, because it is important we all do what we can to help our own community to go well, no matter the size of that community.

When having something that requires further ethical thought, some people think on the idea of “What would Jesus Do”. As an Atheist, a person looking to more secular assistance in looking on my life, and the best ways to go, I prefer to go more with the thoughts of philosopher, and in particular, the Stoics.

The man for me to consider is perhaps, the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who was a learned man, over two thousand years ago. He was a Stoic, hence my interest in his thoughts. And another of the things he did every morning and evening was to write about his thoughts and decisions, creating a book that was to be widely known as “The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus”.

When Marcus wrote this book, he was writing only for himself, and to assist in working through the many decisions he had to make in his life. Being the Emperor of Rome is a big job, that’s for sure. I’m certainly not ever going to have to deal with the decisions he had to deal with, life and death issues, and the massive affairs of state.

So I am looking at Stoicism to assist me in my life, my life scaled down from what Marcus ever had to deal with, but still important to me, and to my community nonetheless. I have my dog to look after, Missy – here she is –

And of course our plants require my assistance at times. I’m not the main person in charge of watering, but it is definitely a sometimes task for me, especially in summer, when lack of water could be the end of our plants, which would be a wasteful thing, after all of the care we have given them. These are some of our plants:

So Missy gets fed, and let inside and outside, as needed, and the plants get watered as needed. I do my share of the chores in our household, and my husband does his share. We do this sensibly, as we should, with no accusations of shirking, because the things that need to get done are more important than our egos.

I doubt Marcus Aurelius ever had to look after a dog, or do housework, but I extrapolate, and consider issues from my own point of view, more than two thousand years later. I have my own responsibilities to my community, and I work hard at meeting my tasks with them, because it is important we all do what we can to help our own community to go well, no matter the size of that community.

So no matter the issue, I will do my best to do the best, the best for others, the best for my own wisdom, the best thing I can to become the best person I can become, as Marcus Aurelius was also thinking about, and doing way back when he lived, ruled, and then died – doing the best he could to become the best person he could be.