In the past I have often stepped into other people’s discussions on Facebook, and sometimes suffered a little from things going bad, and being misunderstood, and being thought on as being wrong, ignorant, naive, or whatever the others may have thought about me and what I have said.
This is an unpleasant thing to have to face, but as I am trying to have a more Stoic mindset, I am finding myself stepping away from comments I might otherwise have spoken out about. Leave it! I tell myself, it’s not yours to fight, this one. As I do this, nowadays, I feel satisfied with myself, where in the past I may have derided myself for being a coward.
But if another person is saying something that I don’t agree with, is it my business to say they are wrong? I may not know their life experience, and the reasons why they may hold to something I don’t agree with. Even if I firmly believe I am right in how I feel, and they are wrong, is this the correct place to state my feelings?
In the particular situation that began my thoughts on writing this blog post, it was on Facebook, where many and varied things are said, proclaimed, agreed with, and argued over, every day. When I read this particular one, I felt saddened at something stupidly ignorant being said, but rather than possibly starting an argument, I said to myself, no, not here, not now, and I stepped back, back and away.
As the plant grows best when it grows away from the wind, so I will go best in my life when I learn to step away, if there is no real need for me to step into a discussion that may turn bad. What would I accomplish by stating my opinion, when it may not be agreed with, particularly when it’s a discussion on Facebook, between people who are probably never going to even meet each other in real life?
There’s no need to disagree with the people holding these beliefs, that quite likely come from their own lives, which are different to my own in some ways. They are not in good and strong relationships with one life partner, but have suffered recently at the hands of such a person, instead. So they’re views are their own, as my views are my own, and each of us looks at life through the lens of what life has given us. My view, and my life, give me positive things, their lives more negative things, and so this is perhaps what brings forward our thoughts.
Whether I am right, and them wrong, that is not the important thing, but simply that how I act is the best thing I can do, for myself and my best possible life. Pointless arguments, or discussions on things that won’t be changed, no matter what any of us think, these things are not worth the effort, not in that forum. I have strong opinions I can strongly push, if and when the need comes, but I will work at doing this only when I have a good understanding of the thing, and when it is the appropriate time for it.
Watering the plant on a hot summer day is a good thing, but doing it at the wrong time of day, may burn the leaves, and even kill the plant. And watering the plant in the middle of a heavy storm in winter is a waste of water, and unneeded anyway. I will work at using my words, my opinions, when they will do good, and so at appropriate times. We are not all at the same place in our thoughts on what is the best thing, some have yet to properly see truths, and of course, I am not the wisest one, all of the time, and may even be wrong in what I believe to be true.
Even in that situation, standing back and going on with thinking thoughts about relevant situations can lead to a deeper understanding. So, I step back, and leave it, it isn’t an argument I have to have, so why should I even think on it, unless it becomes relevant to me and my life.
The road, the trees, the clouds – all have their ways, and they have no care of what I do, and that is fine. I can appreciate them all, even as they ignore me. They have no need to get involved in my life, beyond simply existing.
My Stoic Life 