In my past, I’ve been guilty of being a sometimes strident protester, Speaking out every time I read something I think is ‘wrong’, for whatever reason it may be, and whether is actually affects me or not.
This is on Social Media, mind you, when if you follow many people, it is an ongoing thing, that somebody will write something you disagree with. But if you are on the other person’s page, and they are posting something you don’r agree with, do you really have the need, or even the right, to immediately jump in and lambaste them.
So I used to do that, often, and got into a few, shall we say, ‘discussions’, where I and my words were rubbished. Then I would be all cranky, of course, but on further reflection, I can see that some of the time, I may have deserved the bollocking I received.
I’ve managed to get over that now, and these days I’m much more inclined to sit with the words, and see how, or if, they need me to say anything at all. We are all allowed to have our own opinions, after all, and a person’s Facebook Page is their space where they can write what they think, it’s what Freedom of Speech is.
But of course, I have my own Freedom of Speech too, so if somebody says a thing I find offensive to myself, and/or to others, then I may well speak up against those words, as is also my right. If everyone remains silent in the face of awful words and thoughts, then it may well become that such words go on being spoken, because no-one is reacting out against them.
But if someone writes something I don’t agree with, on their own page, then I’m much more likely these days to just step back, and let those words rest there, and not say a word against them. I will do this particularly when it is a person I know, because I feel that to bring that person out into the general discussion may be less effective than to speak to the person in a more private way, where a discussion can take place, one person to the other.
In this way, both may come to a better awareness of what the other person really believes, and if it was not what they really were trying to say, you could perhaps assist the person in amending their earlier comment. And if they did mean what you first thought they had written, then sometimes it may be the time to either work at convincing them they are wrong, or simply accept that you simply don’t agree on that particular matter.
And that is not a terrible thing. We don’t all have to agree about everything. Some like Winter, some like Summer, no problems there. Unless a Winter person is the one organising the next holiday, and the Summer person has to go with them to the snowfields, instead of the beach, well that could be a problem!
But if that other person has an opinion that doesn’t really affect you, instead of getting hot under the collar, why not just step back, and let things cruise by, as they will, if you let them. Getting stuck in immediately can bring stress, and these days, who wants to bring on even more stress into their life? Not me, that’s for sure!
If you step back instead, giving yourself time to take a good look at things, it might well save yourself from stress. As long as nobody gets or is likely to get hurt, just step back, and think about it all. That way, if you see that something does need to be said or done, you will be in a position for a more considered response, one that is more likely to be taken seriously.
And who wouldn’t rather have their opinion taken seriously? I know I would, that’s for sure. People who go off immediately, and get the story up the creek, will soon enough have people begin to just ignore what they say. Thinking things through properly is by far the best way to go. What do you think? Get in quick and get it out, or think further about it, and then release a possibly more useful opinion?
My Stoic Life 