Stoic virtues – My Stoic Life

Forgiving Ourselves

It’s that time just after Christmas, when some of us, many perhaps, are possibly regretting the good times over Christmas day, in terms of food and drinks taken. Dining lightly is not a thing usually considered sensibly at Christmas time.

I didn’t had overly much more than I usually have, at a meal, but have possible had a little more than I needed to consume, and certainly on Christmas day, had a lot more alcohol than I usually have. Is it a thing to beat myself up about, or not?

I say not. Good times were had on Christmas day, fine times with family members, nice food and drinks, and pleasant chats, sharing information about how our lives have been going, since we last caught up.

So, even though I did drink more wine than I usually do, I easily forgave myself for that indulgence. I shared the fine wine with others, didn’t drink it all myself, I didn’t drink and drive, and as far as I’m aware, I said or did nothing untoward. All went well, and we all had a fine time!

I may have put on a little more unwanted weight, over the Christmas period, but I’ve been making much better food choices in terms of how much and what I’m eating, and I’ve begun a regime of exercises, most of which I do every day. On the days I don’t do all of the exercises, I always do at least some of them.

So if I can continue eating moderately, almost all of the time, and doing these exercises, which were given to me by the physio I have seen recently, then I hope to get fitter and more able to continue improving my own health. On the days I don’t do all of the exercises, I don’t inwardly berate myself, but I am kind, acknowledging that life has many things that have to be done, and happy with myself for at least doing some exercise every single day.

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And because I forgive myself, I am becoming better at forgiving others too, when they fail, as I, as a Stoic, should try to do every time. I still find it difficult, but acknowledge my efforts to do so as being worthy, and my failures not usual because I am only human, like all of us, and so not perfect.

If I can go on getting better and better with these things, I will be increasing my wisdom, and becoming closer to the person I am working on becoming. Those who transgress are also only human, and so prone to failures at times, in terms of doing the best thing possible, for themselves, peeople they now, their community, and the world.

Happy Stoic New Year

Some End Of Year Stoic Thoughts To Take Into 2020

If a thing is beyond my control, I am not to blame for it, but if it was under my control, I must think deeply on why I allowed it to be.

Planning for the good to occur is a joy, planning for the bad, is a blessing … The sensible person spends at least as much energy planning for the bad, as for the good.

Everything that happens is a chance to learn. Nothing is good or bad, unless it brings no further reflection.

If I cannot be said to be at fault, I will not accept blame. If I was at fault, I will look closely at why it happened, and will take action, as appropriate, to ensure it doesn’t happen again, if such action is possible for me.

When considering my best action, I will look at the broader picture first, not only the best for myself only.

Being a member of a group is an opportunity to reach heights, but if others in the group are unable to reach them with you, you have in truth failed.

Any problems being faced now, will become irrelevant in the future, no matter how big the problem. We all will die …

If you were there when it happened, and did nothing to stop it, can you really say it wasn’t your fault at all? If you had no control over it at all, yes, otherwise no. Always do what you can if, and when, you can.

You are not one person only, you are a member of the group, the community, the world. Do all you can do, to help the best good come to all.

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If you lack the courage to do a thing this time, will you ever have the courage when you have not option but to do it?

A tree that always follows the usual direction of the wind, is a tree that will fall when the wind direction changes. Nature knows this, and acts accordingly. Let Nature be your guide …

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Facing fears and acting teaches you to be strong, hiding away from fears allows them to hurt you, over and over again.

If it is wrong for you to do a thing, but others are doing it, it is still wrong for you to do it …

Christmas & New Year Thoughts

This has been a fine year for me, in terms of sharing my words in various ways, some quite different kinds of thoughts. This blog, for instance, which covers my thoughts regarding Stoicism, and how it applies to my life.

I have had no formal training in Stoicism (although I would certainly like to have such training). I have read one book about Stoicism, a book by Massimo Pigliucci, titled “How to be a Stoic”. I found much in this book that interested me, and have been working, ever since, to be a better Stoic.

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It’s a work in progress, my Stoic life, but I find when I stay closest to Stoic ideas, I make better decision about important things. I no longer stress about anything really, because I realise there is so much in life that I can do nothing about, because they are for others to deal with.

And when I see something that is my responsibility, I try my hardest to deal with it, in the way that is best for me, for my loved ones, my community, and/or the whole, as appropriate. I can’t save everyone, from everything, but I can save some, from some things …

So this year is almost over, and tomorrow we will have the big day for the giving and receiving of gifts, with more to come the day after. Being with family is an important part of this process, being kind and thoughtful, and enjoying each other’s company.

Thoughts, and then acting on them in ways that bring good, these are the important to me, and even though I know I have flaws, I know I’m working on those flaws, and am becoming a better person, in some ways. I am a work in progress though, as we all are, and if I get things wrong at times, and find out about it, I try to mend things.

This isn’t always possible, but I take note of it, and try harder to be a good and virtuous person, using the wisdom I have, and trying to become ever wiser … I give to my community, I am honest, I try to be kind and friendly to all I meet, if and when I can. Life brings challenges, I try to meet them wisely, with my eye on the best result, in terms of good being done …

This has become my personal philosophy, and I know there are many other Stoics also working to be virtuous, working to make wise decisions, for the best of all, when and if they can … Will we one day help the whole world thing in the same way we do? Who knows, we can but try.

If you have any thoughts about any of my words here, please leave a comment, I would love to here how you feel about what I have written.

Finding My Way in Stoicism

I’m quite new to this Stoic way of living, and I’m sure that I’m not getting all of the things I could/should be doing right, not yet, perhaps never will. But I am thinking more, and more deeply about life, the things I can do to make the world a better place, as well as the things I can do to live a good and fulfilling life, on a more personal level.

I had an accident recently, one that ended up with me having a broken ankle, and an operation to fix the ankle. This meant even more time available to me to think, but I have to admit it was my broken ankle, rather than stoicism that took up most of my thinking. But I didn’t complain about anything that happened, the fixing and then healing processes were handled well, and I am grateful for all of the wonderful help I received.

And, because I’m a writer and poet, this could have been a great time to get stuck into work on my next fiction writing project, which is writing Cozy Murder Mystery novels. I did have thought about this project, that a hospital would be a fine place to have in one of these books, but I didn’t get much further than that, on that project.

Instead I began a completely new project, and I wrote poems about my broken ankle. And I’d like to think that because I am a thinking kind of person, these poems weren’t woe is me kinds of poems, but more contemplative poems. Certainly gratitude is there amongst the poems, because there was so much to be grateful for.

I contacted a publisher I know, and mentioned this ankle related poetry collection, and they were most happy to read what I had written, on the subject of “Angles on Ankles”, which is what I named this small poetry collection. Once I’d sent them the poems, and a few photographs to consider for the front cover, as well as something for the back blurb, the putting together and printing of this collection went ahead rapidly, and now, less than three months after breaking my ankle, my book is available to sell or give to other people!

The collection is of a kind named a chapbook, which is a book of only 14-40 pages, usually, but not always of poetry, and originally sold on the streets for a small price. My chapbook is being given away, or sole for $5 to interested people. I’m happy to share my words, and as soon as I’ve made the amount I paid for buying copies to sell, I may well give the rest away to people who’d like to read it.

This seems a Stoic thing, not to accumulate lots of money, but only enough …

I welcome thoughts about what I have written here – all comments can lead to great discussions, and further knowledge, a truly good thing, for sure!

Still Practicing Stoicism

Becoming a Stoic isn’t like taking up a new religion, and going to the appropriate church, synagogue, or whatever, once a week, or however often is appropriate. You meet up with others of the same religion, listen to the appropriate person – priest, reverend etc, and perhaps go for a cup of tea with some of those attending afterwards.

Then you go home, and perhaps think on the learnings your heard at the service, and maybe do some good works, in accordance with those learnings. Then you probably go back to living your life in a manner much like everyone else, whatever their particular religious, or secular leanings.

Becoming a Stoic is something different though. A Stoic is, or tries to be constantly learning, thinking, and doing their Stoic thing, being a good and virtuous person, the best they can possibly be, for that is what being a Stoic is all about. “Gaining fulfillment in life through living a good and virtuous life in accordance with Nature.”

Living a ‘good’ life doesn’t refer to getting all of the best things in life, the good things that having lots of money, for instance may bring. No, good refers to acting with wisdom, choosing the best thing for self, community, and everything else.

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Stoicism tells us that the only thing we can actually control is ourselves, and to get angry at the actions of others is a waste of time, and causes us unnecessary grief. This is because we are only able to control our own actions and reactions, anything else is beyond our abilities to control.

The actions of others, then, can be seen as good or bad, but we cannot do anything about them, but, if they are bad things, be sorry for the person doing them, for they are harming themselves, as well as perhaps harming others, and nothing really good can come of their bad actions.

Thinking about such matters is not an immediately easy thing to do, seeing other people who look to be living a great life, when we are living a quieter life, living in a moderate way, neither going without what we need, to live, nor to have more than we actually need, to live. Moderate lives, lived in accordance with what is natural to us, being brave, cheerful, courageous, high-minded, accepting, these lead to the Stoic way.

If we feel resentful at what someone else has, are we doing ourselves any good, in that resentment? No, we are not. If we wish for things we can’t afford, or don’t need, are we going ourselves any good? No, the things Nature tells us we need, food, shelter, companionship perhaps, wanting and having these things is a good thing, not bad, as long as no-one is harmed in the process of us getting them.

Some things are difficult, and require hard work to achieve, so we will need to knuckle down and get on with the necessary hard work. This is a good thing. This is courageous, brave, accepting of the reality. But to want for more than we need, is none of these things.

A further issue needs to be considered, the idea of things ‘being in accordance with nature’, refers to acting in accordance of our humanity, the thing that makes us higher than animals. Humans have the ability to reason, and to be rational. And we are born to be social, and to watch out for each other and to work together for the good for all.

Humans can think, and to think about thinking, which is what makes us different from animals, which simply do things, with no further thought on what they have done. Rationality and reason must be the guides we hold to in life, and in holding to them, we can live a life more in accordance with nature, and so a life that strives for the the best life for all, not just ourselves.

Selflessness, rationality, reason, these can lead to that best world for all. I think on these and am aware of the failings of others, but also of my own failings, and I am humbled. I perhaps know things others don’t realise, I understand more, and if they fail, due to ignorance, who am I who fail, even in knowledge of my failings?

Life goes on, I think on where I have failed, and strive do better, be better, achieve higher, and fulfilled life, acting in accordance to what is rational and reasonable. But more than that, I will live a life that adds to the world, and does good for all, not just myself. In doing so, I will be living a wise and fulfilled life, as we all could do …

Idle but not willingly so

At the moment, I am largely non mobile, due to breaking my right ankle three weeks ago. I have spent time in hospitals (3 of them), and now I’m home, largely sofa bound.

I have been using a nifty thing called a Knee Walker to get around inside my house, now that I’m home. This allows me to go from sofa to toilet, to bathroom, and to bed, under my own steam. I am not able to bear any weight on my right foot, not yet.

I tried out using another of my mobility aids available to me at home at the moment, a walking frame. This device is useful for very short distances, going from knee walker to toilet seat and back again. Usually that is it, the Knee Walker trumps the frame. I did give the walking frame a better go today though, just to check it out more.

I discovered using the walking frame is hard work! I used it to travel halfway from the laundry to the bedroom but then decided it was too hard, so turned around and headed back to the laundry. I then realised the absolute winning point of the Knee Walker over the walking frame.

With the Knee Walker, it’s easy to rest, just stop there, kneeling on the walker and not moving, if needed. With the walking frame, standing there leaning on it with my hands isn’t actually restful at all, it’s still working, not working as hard as moving, but still working.

Once I was back with the Knee Walker, I went to the bedroom, got on the bed – ah blissful rest! and then I folded up and put away as many of the clothes as I could. I used the Knee Walker to stand up and put away the relevant clothes in the wardrobe, and to move to where I had put the clothes to go in drawers. Easy and all done!

I now feel like a useful member of the household again, hooray! Thinking on that thought makes me realise one of the burdens felt when you are unable due to ill health, to help out. You feel useless, and surely feeling useless is a nasty feeling to have. I know I feel better today for having let the dog out, and putting the clothes away.

I can hear Missy at the back door, wanting to come back in, so I will do that soon, and while I’m at it, I will get her lunch for her too. I know I’m able to do this task because I’ve done it once, since I got home from hospital. It meant getting a container I could put the dog food into, and put a lid on it, otherwise I may well have dropped the food all over the floor, not a good thing!

So I’ll feed Missy, and I may even think about getting my own lunch. A sofa break again first though, I don’t want to push my luck. Doing what I can do for myself and others is the virtuous Stoic way, pushing myself too far is not the Stoic way at all. So having said all of that, I will sign off here, and go and feed Missy!

What Stoicism Is About

My ideas about the four cardinal virtues of Stoicism.

Stoicism a way of thinking that has been around for at least two thousand years. It began in Greece all those years back, then was taken up in Roman times, by Emperor Marcus Aurelius. A main focus was on deeper thinking, but more than that, actually living the thoughts they held to.

This thinking focused especially on four cardinal virtues -those of prudence, courage, justice, and temperance. When taking up Stoicism, one must take up these virtues, and live the things learned from these virtues.

Prudence is all about knowing what is right and wrong/good and bad, and acting in the best way possible, the right way, the good way to go throughout all of life. Doing the prudent thing is to do the good thing, the best thing, when looked at rationally and with the eye to the best for all, if relevant.

The virtue of Courage refers to well, to courage, being fearless in the face of danger, doing the right thing even at cost to self. It can also refer to simpler things, like forbearance, facing up to pain and continuing with what is your job to do. Be bold, be intrepid, bravely go where it is right for you to go. Do not do this to be dangerously foolhardy, do it to do the right thing, the best thing you can rationally do.

When looking at the virtue of Justice, it does well to consider it as social virtue, doing the moral/ethical thing. Kindness is involved with this, also fairness, goodwill, benevolence, all of these are encompassed by ‘Justice’. Doing the right thing no matter the hurt to yourself, as long as it is the rational thing, in keeping with who and what you are, this is a Stoic thing.

The final virtue is Temperance. This virtue is all about moderation, knowing when one has had enough and stopping at that point or before, never overindulging. Taking only what you need, is the Stoic way, not being greedy. More importantly, it refers to being self-aware, knowing how much you need. Having self-control shows having this virtue. It is akin to what the contemporary person may call Mindfulness.

So there are some of my thoughts about these four important aspects of Stoicism, I welcome the thoughts of others regarding what I have written and regarding these important virtues.