I’ve had a day at home today, while husband and son are off doing ‘sports’ related things. It’s a community thing, with the local Bowling Club, and my attendance would have been welcome. I probably would have enjoyed myself, watching the bowls game, and eating great food. But I stayed at home.
I would have been a good wife and mother, to have followed the men in the family, staying home, just me and the dog, able to do whatever I choose, what a lovely chance, not to be wasted! When I do things like this, there’s a frisson of guilt, because, of course, society frowns on lazy days, when others are ‘working’.
But it was only a frisson of guilt, and I easily got over that. I actually spent time on getting the washing finished off, after my husband started it happening. I hung it out, checked it several times, bringing clothes as they dried, my time lengthened due to a brief but heavy shower. Now the clothes are all brought in and put away. Womanly work there, for sure.
I would never call myself a ‘housewife’, being a good housewife would never be a title for me. I do what I need to, if and when I can, but my husband, since he retired does far more than I do. He cares more than I about these things, as long as I have clothes and food, that’s all I need. I seldom look at the carpets, don’t vacuum, he does.
It isn’t laziness, it’s actually a good arrangement. I am a writer, he is my husband and carer, I do what I can, when I can, as happened with the washing today. Actually, putting away the washing is almost always my job, both my husband and I are happy with that split up of chores, and so it’s an arrangement that works perfectly well.
If anyone looking on ever questioned why I don’t do much, and he does lots, well, it isn’t any of their business, is it? I have a chronic illness, that goes OK, as long as life is going OK. Having my husband as my carer, and so doing much for me, that keeps things going along OK, and he receives money from the government in his carer role, and we’re both happy with this.
Having life organised in ways that work well for those involved, this surely is the most rational way anyone should live their life? No-one is hurt by me not being a good housewife. I do all I can, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience me, I help out with finances, and pay bills for us both. Things go well, no one, as I said, gets hurt, and in fact it is a peaceful and good way to go.
If everyone could find ways to live their lives like this, with each doing what they can, and fitting in so no-one is discombobulated, what a fine world we could all have. But of course there are always some who want more than others have, greedy rather than needy people. This can certainly lead to discombobulations, for sure. If I do my part, though, doing all I can in my home, community and the world, then I am contributing, and no-one can say otherwise.
So if I say my life is a good one, lived in a Stoic manner, with others helped, and none hurt, by my actions, no-one can say otherwise, and I consider my way of living, in thoughtful consideration to others, to be the best way of living my life, given my current circumstances. I know my life, and I am the one to judge, because I understand the reasons, and the rationality of it. I say I live a good and virtuous life, in the Stoic manner.
Who else can say they too, life a good and Stoic life?